


More Than Most

by undermyumbreon



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: F/M, ItsStillBeautiful, Jack remembers his Bella, Post Season 3, Post TWOTL, Post-Episode: s03e13 The Wrath of the Lamb, the after retirement life isn't what he expected
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-14
Updated: 2016-08-14
Packaged: 2018-08-08 18:40:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7768837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/undermyumbreon/pseuds/undermyumbreon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jack reminisces about Bella after a long day of working on the Hannibal and Will case.</p><p>Read Freddie Lounds' part that came before this part:<br/>http://archiveofourown.org/works/7741507</p>
            </blockquote>





	More Than Most

     Jack Crawford was lying in bed on top of the sheets. He had come home and directly headed to the bedroom. He didn’t bother to remove his shoes or jacket.  The fatigue and pressure from work was overwhelming him and he needed to lie down. Half a year had passed since evidence that Hannibal Lecter and Will Graham were alive had come to light. Jack had been welcomed to work on the case because he knew the men intimately. Or, so he thought. Capturing them was more difficult than he had anticipated. Jack should have learned from the first time he tried to catch the “Chesapeake Ripper” that even when the killer was right in front of him, he couldn’t tell.  
     Jack let out a low groan. He went over the recent meeting he had with Freddie Lounds in his head. She had offered to assist him with the case by writing online articles to lure Hannibal and Will out for the police to capture. Jack knew that the duo would not fall for the trick like Francis Dolarhyde, the Great Red Dragon killer had, but it was his only shot right now. He was so close to giving up that he would try anything to put an end to the situation. He was sick and tired of Hannibal. He was angered by Will’s betrayal. He was embarrassed by his retirement. He was exhausted with life. He wanted the pain and stress to stop. He wanted closure. He wanted-

      … _Bella_. He wanted his sweet… lovely Bella.

   
     Jack closed his eyes. He could see her, young and healthy. They were in Italy on their honeymoon at the exact place they had first met. She was looking over at the water. It was a comfortable afternoon and the breeze and small waves were calm.     
    “Jack…” Bella’s voice was slow, soothing, and bathed in adoration.  
    He took her hand and kissed it. His eyes met hers as he looked up, “Yes Bella?”  
    “I love you...”       
    “Well,” Jack leaned in to kiss her cheek, whispering in her ear, “I love you too. I love you the most.”  
    She chuckled, turning to face him, their noses touching, “Well… then I love you more than most.”       
    Jack broke out in a smile, “What do you mean?”       
    “I love you more than most,” She smiled back.       
    Jack pondered her words more before admitting, “I still need you to clarify what you mean.”  
    She took his cheeks in her hands and looked at him lovingly, “I love you more than the most love you can give me. I love you more than most people on this earth love you. And I even love you more than the people who do love you can love you. I love you more than most…”       
    Jack had to laugh out loud at that, “Then I guess I’ll have to compete with your love for me!”       
    She kissed his nose and let out a laugh herself, “Go ahead, Jack…”     

   
   “Oh Bella…” Jack let out a little hiccup, whispering to himself as he came out of his reminiscence, “Oh, I need you… Bella…” He felt his throat close up painfully as he tried to stop himself from breaking down. Warm tears slipped down his cheeks as he squinted his eyes shut even more. He missed her so much and he needed her to be in his corner. He regretted never telling her about what he felt during hard, disturbing cases. He never opened up to her about the emotional toll it took on him or the regrets he had. Jack felt he hadn’t given her everything he had said he would during their marriage vows. He knew his secrets had prevented him from ever loving her more because getting closer would mean telling her everything. Bella was gone, his hope and patience were gone, and everything he had succeeded in during his career meant nothing. He felt like he was nothing.  
     After several minutes of soft, tearful sobs and self-deprecation, Jack fell asleep. He awoke hours later, groggy and disoriented. It was around nine at night and his stomach was panging in hunger. Jack sat up slowly and got off the bed. He managed to scavenge for enough leftovers in the refrigerator for dinner and sat down on the sofa in the living room. Jack reached for the television remote and turned the TV on. He hated how quiet the house was ever since Bella passed.


End file.
